Thoughts for the Year’s End

As 2006 closes, we truck along with a growing sense of self-actualization. We rang in the current year 12 months ago with loads of friends in town, and made very festive. Shortly thereafter, we learned that I had become pregnant. Life as an expectant woman took on new colors and shapes, quite more delicious than I expected, and even fun most of the time. Pregnancy didn’t make me a faster autocrosser, unfortunately, but at least it didn’t cramp my style too much….

As the year progressed, we both worked a lot. Mike pursued some great, big ideas, and learned how to build products for the web. He read very many books and spent countless hours in front of the computer. I toiled away on the line of medical products I’ve been designing for years now, and spent countless hours on the phone and in meetings. Still, there was time for me to organize evening meetings of interaction designers in Portland and participate in professional societies and conferences. Mike also spent evenings grokking Ruby over pints with like-minded locals.

At midyear, we recognized the imminence of our daughter’s arrival. The racing Miata was sold and Rita the awesome station wagon joined the family. We took childbirth classes, and I arranged for an extra-long maternity leave. Mike changed professional gears to pursue more immediately lucrative opportunities. Growing a new person inside me turned my focus inward, as I waddled about and marveled at my round silhouette. Friends loaned me lovely clothes, and I stopped traveling for work & tying my own shoes.

We fell more in love with our adopted city of Portland, and greatly enjoyed a wedding event on the breathtaking slopes of Mt. Hood. More visitors, including family, continued to make our relatively new house into a home. Redecorating projects took on extra urgency, and we largely finished improving the front half of the house. This year, we accomplished the installation of new doors and moulding, the painting of our bedroom, the re-flooring and painting of the bathrooms, and the complete outfitting of Evelyn’s room. Outdoors, the height of weeds in the garden finally shamed us into spending long hours and weekends taming the verdant jungle. A long-delayed visit to our creek inspired new dreams and plans.

September saw great drama on the maternal side of the McBacon family. My brother married his lovely girlfriend...as it transpired, on the same day that my dad was called in for a double organ transplant. The former event brought nothing but good feelings, of course, while the latter event was a harrowing one for all concerned. Although the transplanted liver & kidney themselves seemed to be well-received, weeks of complications kept my dad in the hospital. We are thankful for the support my mom received from her colleagues at the university, and for the fact John's finally home and mending properly.

Then Evelyn arrived, and gave form to Mike's and my greatest dream yet. Her glowing body and shining eyes began to illuminate our days and nights. Life reordered itself into minutes and hours of concentrated attention, the minutiae of childcare dominating the mind. As she grows and unfolds into her own person, our understanding of family expands, not only in terms of the daily routine but also the full potential scope of existence. And that’s not just sleep-deprivation talking…Evelyn started sleeping through the night around six weeks of age and generally has kept up good form since.

Mike and I founded a limited liability company in the latter part of the year, and look forward with renewed vigor to becoming independent. Mike’s driving the bus for now, with occasional signposts designed by yours truly. We’re still crafting the visual identity and website, but Mike’s already cashed company checks!



Evelyn is twelve weeks old yesterday. She is marvelous. Our girl brings the noise! She says “Aaah” with immense feeling when laid on her tummy. Her thoughtful gaze is often questioning when it’s not blissful. She seems liable to become a DJ or a theologian. (That’s just based on the current evidence, of course.)



In the last days of the year, her parents are relieved to have selected an Au Pair (although we still need to find backup childcare for the end of January and various other times throughout the year). 18-year old Anne-Sophie L. arrives from France in early February. We’re organizing the guest bedroom to suit her needs, and trying to figure out how our family can best arrange itself to make this a successful affair.

The road ahead in 2007 looks to be a winding and interesting one, with many a new vista along the way. May the coming year deliver you and yours smooth driving and enjoyable journeys! We look forward to hearing from you...don't be a stranger!

--Liz

My New Year's resolution is to change out of my damn pajamas in the morning. Working from home is great but it's just getting ridiculous. If you look back through the photos taken since Evelyn was born I'm wearing PJs in about 90% of them.

And my New Year's wish is for everyone reading this to watch An Inconvenient Truth. It's time to rescue the frog.

-- Mike

Xmas Gifts Early

Oh, my goodness -- it’s thrilling to watch Evelyn develop! As Mike put it, she’s just leveled-up. Big time! On December 5th, she had her two-month checkup. She weighed 11 lbs, 1.5 oz, was 22.5 inches long, and her head circumference was 39 cm. Her height & weight are on the 50th percentile, while her head’s a little bigger than that. And she weathered her immunizations like a champ, although it was completely excruciating for me!

Just three days later, she deliberately batted at a toy for the first time. She stared and stared with great concentration at this hanging, noise-making animal thing on her activity chair, and then she reached out and whacked it. And again. And tried again but missed, then missed, then hit it again, then missed again. All done with this intention -- this new awareness of thing-ness come in her mind. I was so excited, I ran to tell Mike. He observed it later himself, and two days later she was already better at hitting the toy instead of missing it. With over a week of practice at this point, she’s fully smiling when she hits the toy and it makes a noise, and she can amuse herself in the activity chair for long stretches.

Now at ten weeks of age, she’s cooing and gurgling and shrieking and making a wider variety of noises all the time. And she giggled for the first time this past week…I just happened to be blowing raspberries on her stomach and somehow this giggle popped out. Awesome! And then her head control has developed marvelously – she holds her head way up now for long stretches when she’s lying on her belly. She loves to sit up in our laps or be held up against our shoulders, where she can turn her head & get a proper perspective on her space without much flopping around. Her grip is still pretty weak and apparently out of conscious control, but she did manage to hold onto a rattle for long enough to snap a cool picture....



In other news, we had some friends in town last weekend. Meg S. and Christy VA. were visiting Anah to help celebrate her birthday, although I daresay Evelyn was a bit of a Portland draw, too! :) They all came over to our house for dinner, when they had a chance to hold the little one, providing some more nice photo opportunities…







And then Nick A. & his fiancee Sarah B. were in Portland that weekend, as well! We spent a very enjoyable dinner-time with them; they made things easy by bringing over some delicious Indian food. They will be tying the knot in Savannah, Georgia this April, and only pressured us a little bit to attend despite the complexities of life with baby. We’ll see!

We simply love to have friends come and visit us, so if you’re reading this blog, please do consider yourself welcome! And but yet, you should know that our guest bedroom will be disappearing in fairly short order, because we’re going to be bringing an Au Pair on board sometime in February. We agonized over various childcare options before committing to this route. However, being unable to bring ourselves to drop Evelyn into full-time daycare at her tender age and being unable to afford a live-out nanny and being unable to find a simpatico family with whom to share a full-time nanny, it seems the best choice. We’re getting pretty psyched about the Au Pair route, though. We’re interviewing two candidates now, so hopefully it won’t be too long before this is all squared away. Meanwhile, though, we still have to hire a nanny to fill in the time between the defined end of my maternity leave and the uncertain arrival date of the au pair.

So in the next couple weeks, we’re looking to enjoy a small family Christmas celebration around our lovely tree, decorated with a fresh mix of McBacon ornaments. Although it’s a shame we won’t get together with the Wheaton family until January, here’s a toast to future together times! Happy holidays, all!!

--Liz

Sara's visit

We had a great time with Grandma Sara visiting us this weekend. As hoped, we made a trip to the Oregon coast on Saturday. Mike and I had previously visited the little town of Cannon Beach, so this time we angled a bit north to the larger town of Seaside. It boasted an old-timey downtown street filled with shops that led to an ocean promenade, which was also the "end of the trail" point of Lewis & Clark's expedition! We were graced with beautiful if cold weather, and enjoyed the outing very much. I might especially praise the fresh dungeness crab we enjoyed in various guises at a local restaurant, and the plethora of saltwater taffy flavors that somehow made it home with us.

One thing I've noticed lately is that having Evelyn in our lives has brought out the stories about Mike's and my childhoods. Apparently Mike was a bit of a math prodigy, announcing at the age of about two and half after studying a row of five D-size batteries: "5 batt's are same as 3 batt's and 2 batt's". He couldn't yet pronounce the word "batteries", but you have to admit that was a pretty nifty insight on the nature of the universe there, eh? And although various things have changed in child-rearing between then and now (for example, safety features on car seats; styles of baby carrier) there are still more commonalities than differences.

And apparently it's still rewarding to watch a new little bundle of life grow amused by toys! Evelyn also had an absolutely thrilling, epic conversation with Mike last night...they exchanged smiles and happy sounds for several minutes, and somehow, I fell yet more deeply in love with my daughter and husband than ever before.

--Liz

Close of November

A new afternoon scene in our domestic life: Mike feeds Evelyn a bottle, an activity that’s been entailing a certain amount of trauma, while I make scarce with my breasts. Some of DJ Mark Farina’s mushroom jazz plays in the background, but is nearly drowned out by her squalls. It’s really hard not to get all tense and upset listening to her crying, but we have to remember that it’s her only way to communicate strong emotion at this point. On a more positive note, she has begun exhibiting a wider range of smiles– I personally think she’ll have a great sense of humor – and is making some new cries and noises that are a bit more mysterious but definitely inhabit a less-than-upset part of the emotional spectrum.

We just received a couple books from Amazon about early child development, and are consuming them eagerly. Both emphasize the importance of so-called “tummy time” to develop a child’s mobility, since it’s a crucial component of neurological development. We’ve been giving Evelyn time on her belly almost every day, but hadn’t been all that rigorous about it. Today, she actually crawled for the first time, where crawling is defined as lying on belly and moving arms and legs to propel herself forward. Yes, sure, she was assisted by Mom acting as a backstop for her feet, but it was still awesome progress! We want to build her a crawling area that will be a safe, clean, smooth surface for her to practice this important skill.

I truly don’t want us to turn into the kind of parents that are all flashcards and math problems, pushing their child into competing in some sort of hopeful race-to-genius. However, I know next to nothing about how infants and children learn, and am glad to educate myself about this area in order to help Evelyn grow as well as she can. The mantra of one of the books (disconcertingly titled “How Smart is Your Baby?”) is “the brain grows by use”, and as child-development mantras go it seems a pretty good one. Nobody learned to swim without swimming and nobody learned to bicycle without a bicycle, just as nobody learned to talk without making sounds and nobody learned to walk without moving their arms and legs. Since talking and walking are the order of the year, then that’s where we would begin to support Evelyn’s healthy growth!



In other news, we enjoyed a delightful Thanksgiving day with my cousin Doug & family. It was especially nice to see his sister, Elaine, for the first time since I was six years old. She is married with two kids, 18 and 10 years old. The food was delicious and bountiful, most especially the desserts. Doug & Carl had procured something like a whole pie per person! Evelyn started crying just after we arrived, as hungry as we all were, but then she pretty much slept in her car seat or on my lap the rest of the time.

And we’re all looking forward to a visit from Evelyn’s grandmother Sara this weekend. Hopefully we’ll make a trip out to the coast, or otherwise get out and about more than usual. Although, we’ve had some snow on the ground here as of Tuesday, so maybe I’m just out of my mind…!

--Liz

Six Weeks & Counting

We’re watching Evelyn rocketing along through her early days, gaining new skills on a weekly if not daily basis. She continues to be a fairly mellow baby, although she has had a few days of notable fussiness here and there. She seems to come out the other side of those tough days with new abilities...for instance, now she’s tracking noise and toys! Mike also feels that she has a rather ambitious side - she is sometimes remarkably alert, intently studying her world, especially recently when we hold her up over our shoulder. Generally, our days are filled with happy times and new routines. She enjoys bath time (especially now that a rubber ducky has entered the picture) and also massages. Most marvelously, Evelyn has sprung some melting smiles and grins at us these past couple of weeks. They’re a bit hard to catch on film, but will be forever etched in our hearts.



Evelyn has slept for seven hours straight two of the last three nights, meaning that there was only one feeding during the night. Hurrah – keep it up, baby! It’s an utterly wonderful feeling for me to get more than three hours of sleep in a row. She tends to go to sleep around 10 pm, and then myself around 11:30. Normally during the night, I’ve been getting up around 2/3 am and then again at 5/6 am, spending an hour with diaper changes and breastfeeding, then swaddling and swinging her back to sleep. (Have we mentioned yet how invaluable the “Happiest Baby on the Block” wisdom as peddled by Dr. Harvey Karp is? The magical “Cuddle Cure” involves swaddling, side-lying, shushing, swinging and sucking, in order to create a comforting, womb-like environment. It’s been utterly brilliant and effective for soothing our baby whenever she needs it. While it’s not new knowledge, I know, it’s packaged in a very usable and helpful form.)

Meanwhile, we’ve been wrapped up in trying to figure out what to do in terms of childcare. We just ache to think of dropping Evelyn into a day care situation at such a tender age, because it looks like we need to have full-time coverage. Mike’s business is taking off and given our long-term goals of self-employment for both of us, we can’t afford to slow him down. We even filed paperwork last week to create ourselves a limited liability company; Mike is President, and I’m the Chief Design Officer! Since we can’t afford a dedicated Nanny and are loath to hire an au pair, we’re trying to arrange a Nanny-share situation. This ideally involves having a live-out Nanny tend to Evelyn and one other child in our home, Monday through Friday. The hardest part will be to find a simpatico family with a child of Evelyn’s approximate age. I’ve got various feelers out, so please keep your fingers crossed for us! Otherwise, I’ve been engaged in some organizational activities with CHIFOO and IxDA. I went out for my first sans-baby evening engagement, which felt nice but kind of weird, too…the world felt a bit flat, and I missed my family!

Mike celebrated his birthday this past Thursday. We didn’t arrange any big celebrations, but I managed to put together a reasonably edible chocolate cake. (To quote Mike, frosting cures all ills….) Also, I was happy to gift him with an acoustic guitar, for which he’d expressed a strong desire. I discovered the nice & affordable Art & Lutherie brand (from the Godin guitar-making company), and he’s already making it sound great. Evelyn & I look forward to more lullaby serenades and finger-pickin’ tunes! Maybe you can hear them sometime, too, if you’re lucky.

Finally, I’m delighted to report that my Dad is back at home again, after spending many unexpected weeks in the hospital dealing with various complications following his double-organ transplant. Yay! His health is good, he already sounds more chipper than ever, and I’m sure the Wheaton air (however chilly) will do him a world of good. We’re all excited to ring in his 62rd birthday on Thanksgiving day this year. And here's to the continued health of you & yours!

--Liz

Halloween Round-up

Happy Halloween, everybody. We were very excited to have Grandpa Doug in town to help us out with some chores, cook us some delicious meals, hand out candy to trick-or-treaters, carve pumpkins...oh, and meet Evelyn of course!


Speaking of our little pumpkin, she's been transforming before our very eyes. The changes in just in the past week have been astonishing to see. She's becoming more aware of her surroundings and she's filling out physically - her body is "unrolling" from its fetal position and she's developing strength in her torso and neck. She's also favored us with a few semi-smiles, which are heart-meltingly gratifying to see. I think it's only a matter of days...



It was also quite touching to watch Evelyn and Grandpa Doug getting acquainted. So many little things lately catch us off guard and remind us how much our lives have changed. But this was a biggie. Our parents...are now our daughter's grandparents. Wow. Evelyn is a lucky little girl to have such an awesome complement of grandcritters and we can't wait for her to meet the rest of them!



Halloween

Our lifestyle of late doesn't allow for much elaborate planning or complicated logistics. But with Grandpa Doug's help we did manage to put together a little something for our local trick-or-treaters - who were out in decent numbers despite a knifing wind that made it very cold outside.



We got a couple pumpkins carved and hid a boombox playing creepy sounds in the bushes out front. Plus we had plenty of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups to hand out. Whoops! We have left-overs. Oh darn.



My Labor Story
OK, so I didn't get loads of questions about my birth experience. But I thought I'd jot down a few random thoughts for posterity anyway. Some of you may find them interesting. It's amazing to me that it's four weeks ago already - in some ways it feels like ten years. The intervening time has been so light on sleep and so exceedingly rich in intense emotions that my memories of the event itself are already starting to fracture and blur.

Let me first back up a bit and start by saying that Liz and I were pretty thoroughly prepared for the big event - as thoroughly prepared as we could be considering we had absolutely no idea whatsoever what we were in for! You can read all the books you want, and attend all the classes, and practice your breathing and assemble all your cribs and high chairs and magic plastic entertain-o-matics and lay in an entire apothecary's worth of lotions and wipes and pack your goodie bag and proofread your birth plan and quadruple check your exhaustively comprehensive checklist (and I heartily recommend that you do...it beats sitting around chewing your fingernails) but...BUT...you have no idea whatsoever what you're in for.

I know some of you reading this don't have kids but are planning to have kids, or are thinking about planning to have kids. This paragraph is for you guys. Did you ever get the sense that there's almost like a secret fraternity of parents? You pick it up in knowing glances and odd little chuckles and an occasional faint, far-off whiff of condescension mixed with baby powder. Well I'm going to let the cat out of the bag: there IS a fraternity of parents. There's no secret handshake or funny little hats (dang!) or beery-smelling lodge with moth-eaten elk heads hanging on the walls and a reliquary purported to contain the bones of J Edgar Hoover. But procreating changes you, as every parent knows. When you gaze into the squinty, unfocused eyes of your child for the first time there's a shuddering twist in your soul and you realize you'll never look at the world - at anything - the same way again.

Already I sound like an asshole, exactly like I remember those parental know-it-alls sounding before I was initiated. And this is just going to make it worse: remember before you went through puberty how it seemed like the older kids were all in on something? Last year they were playing kickball right alongside you and now this year they're acting goofy and they don't seem to have any more time for kid stuff and yet (this is the unsettling part) they don't really seem to mind all that much. In fact, they seem to almost feel sorry for you! And then a year later you get your first crush and make out with someone for the first time and suddenly it's the most obvious thing in the world. Well, becoming a parent is the same deal all over again, and that's why it's basically inexplicable. You go through a metamorphosis and become something different. How can you explain that?

And yet... you're still you. You don't lose who you are. We had our friends Mike and Carolyn over for dinner last week. They're expecting and so I asked them if anyone had given them the "DUDE YOUR LIFE IS TOTALLY GOING TO CHANGE" speech yet. You hear that speech a lot when you're expecting. And it's true, but it really misses the point. And this is what I'd like to convey to my friends who are considering parenthood: Yes, you're going to change and no, there's really no way you can truly prepare yourself for it or understand ahead of time what it's going to be like. But two key things to remember are: 1) you're not changing into something else, you're changing into something more. If you like Thomas Pynchon and the Grateful Dead now you're still going to enjoy those things in nine months. And 2) it's totally, completely awesome. The exoteric stuff like not getting as much sleep and having to change a jabillion poopy diapers every day have nothing whatsoever to do with the core of the experience, which is emotional. You don't change poopy diapers because you have to, you do it because you want to.

So anyway, I was describing the birth process from my point of view. My experience can be neatly summarized in one word: exhaustion. Liz's water broke at 9:30 at night and naturally we got very excited. Yay! The baby's coming! The contractions picked up steam...then slackened...then basically stopped around 1 a.m. We'd been instructed to report to the hospital at 4 so Liz lay down for a nap in the sun room around 1:30 and I...became obsessed with the thought...that I had to stay awake...so she wouldn't oversleep...because that would be bad...the baby could die! It didn't occur me that I could take a nap myself in the bedroom and just set an alarm, nor that I could just as easily move an alarm clock out next to where Liz was sleeping. Which pretty much right there demonstrates that already at that point I had completely lost my mind. So I sat around watching TV until it was time to go, and by the time we reached the hospital I was dead on my feet. I did catch a brief nap after breakfast, and both of us dozed in the afternoon, but somehow the sleep just didn't seem to have any effect on me - I would drift off feeling like I was being crushed under the front wheels of a Mack truck and wake up feeling like the back wheels were still rolling over me.

By nighttime the dark clouds of my fatigue were being illuminated by flashes of abject panic (it's not a mixed metaphor! If you look closely and squint your eyes you'll see that the clouds are in the shape of a Mack truck). As Liz's designated Birth Partner I had a very specific set of responsibilities: to act as her advocate in making medical decisions should the need arise, to soothe her through the physical challenges of labor and to provide moral and emotional support to keep her spirits up. But I was so completely trashed by the next night that I was beginning to seriously question my ability to do much more than drool and flinch in the corner. The darkest moment came when the doctor decided that we should "get some rest" and try again in the morning. Liz was still having major contractions. They gave her a narcotic to help her rest but all it really did was allow her to doze for 3 minutes at a time. She'd still wake up and have to breathe through each contraction. I lay down but there was no way I could sleep. You try drifting away to dreamy-by land with the love of your life in excruciating agony 5 feet away. It's not happening.

Then...a miracle occured. The nurse came in and discovered that Liz was finally dilating and they gave her the epidural and we were off to the races. Finally I got an adrenaline kick and my brain started functioning for the first time in almost 24 hours. Everything proceeded on fast forward from that point. I just did whatever I was told to do. At first I was counting through the pushes, then I was chanting "out out out!" I also fetched ice chips, and held one of Liz's legs up for a while. Liz was amazing. Words utterly fail me. She was like a buddha giving birth. So relaxed and focused and collected. Unbelievable. She says I helped out and I'm happy to hear it. But from my point of view I could have been gibbering in the closet or chain-smoking and pacing a hole in the lobby carpet and she would have come through with flying colors.



So now we're home and we're settling into our new triune, funkily syncopated family rhythm. It's hard and there are a lot of adjustments we have to make. We know full well there will be tough times - bad colds, misbehavior, The Wiggles - but we don't mind. We're two more blissed out members of the oldest secret society in the world.

If you've read this far, thanks for taking the time. Enjoy this picture of me giving Eva her first ever bottle. Which, by the way, she took like a champ. Naturally.

--Mike

7 lbs, 7 oz!

Yes, our baby Evelyn tipped the scales today at 7 lbs, 7 oz! Mike and I were laying bets, but she exceeded all expectations (and mother feels inordinately proud of her milk production, given that she has no conscious control over it whatsoever). Overall, Evelyn passed her ~2 week checkup with flying colors. Her parents also got some helpful info from the pediatrician, Dr. Bruce Birk, whom we like very much. He's close to our ages, energetic and articulate, and thankfully tolerant of our detailed questions. We learned especially that we don't need to be focused on stimulation in these early days, even if she's exhibiting a delicious "quiet alert" state -- creating a womb-like environment is more important, and mental stimulation will come with time.

Also, we need to limit Evelyn's exposure to public environments, due to her immature immune system. My trip to the mall yesterday was somewhat ill-advised, then, although I'm sure no harm will come of it. (I needed to acquire some proper nursing clothes, given that I'm going to be co-teaching a tutorial about interaction design this weekend for the CHIFOO organization!) Instead, walks around the neighborhood and up to our nearby park are perfectly appropriate. Naturally, though, we had to indulge in some gelato after we visited the pediatrician's office!

Mike and I are generally coping well with the transition to parenthood, or so we're telling ourselves. Mike is cooking delicious meals (tonight's salmon steaks baked and then drizzled with a sauce made of tahini, peanut oil, vinegar, lemon juice, garlic & onion powder, soy sauce and pepper was a serious stand-out!) and still taking care of business. Every few hours, our hearts seem fit to explode with the new love for the life we have created together and brought into the world. Although we're going through a great upheaval in our lives, wherein our time is not our own and our needs are not paramount, we also have expanded the field of our family in a most joyous way. Experiencing deep tenderness for another person doesn't take away from the feelings you have for those you already love...instead, we are finding that our love for each other is more enriched than ever before.



We are fortunate that having a child was a conscious decision we were able to consider at some length, and then successfully act on. Some find the situation foisted upon them; others cannot conceive. We thought about having kids for several years, and even once committed we waited a couple more until the time was right (creating a stable environment by buying a home in Portland was a most important step for us). Still, the earliest phase of our thinking was preoccupied with the effect that a child would have on our lifestyle. We were trepidacious about giving up our freedoms, since we're both passionate about our careers and our personal pursuits.

Then, there was one pivotal conversation with my mother, Ewa, wherein she discussed her own perspective on deciding to have children. Her parents separately survived the concentration camps, where they were interred as Polish intellectuals/dissidents. However, despite experiencing this horror that human inflicted upon human, they chose to start a family and move forward with hope. My mother was born to them shortly after WWII ended. She told me that it was principally out of respect for her parents' decision to procreate that she also choose to have children (although I know that meeting my father was a significant contributor to her decision to start a family, what with his good genes, you know). And obviously, if she hadn't decided on that path, I wouldn't be here today and none of this would be happening. It is for this reason that we named our daughter Evelyn in honor of my mother. (Her name, Ewa, is a Polish spelling that is pronounced "Eh' vah" so the correlation is closer than it appears.) Thusly, the stream of life continues into the future....

And for the record, Evelyn's middle name, Arcadia, was one that we chose in the end simply because we liked it. We appreciate its euphony and its classical nature. The word dates from Grecian times, where it is a mountainous region of the country and whence it is linked to the myth of Arcas, the son of Zeus and the nymph Callisto. (The story is told that eventually, after a troubling hunt where Arcas almost slayed his mother while she wore the form of a deer, Zeus turned Callisto and Arcas into Ursa Major and Ursa Minor. Hmm, do I see teddy bears in Evelyn's future?) Arcadia today has a general meaning that connotes a utopian place of peace and tranquility, which is essentially what Portland symbolizes to us.

OK, now it's past time to get some rest! We've also put new photos onto our Flickr page - we'll be grouping pix into monthly sets, so go check out the one called "Evelyn: October 2006". Hope all's well with you & yours!

--Liz

My Labor Story

Firstly, things continue wonderfully with our beautiful daughter, Evelyn. We have made a couple trips out to the pediatrician to monitor jaundice, which she has successfully fought off. As our pediatrician is near 23rd Ave, we took the opportunity to put her in the stroller and take a walk to get ourselves some delicious gelato.

Meanwhile, at home, we're working on developing a groove in time with her needs, which are indeed simple yet all-consuming. It's a deep, visceral pleasure to feed her and then see her sweetly content face reposed in sleep. Mike's become a pro at changing diapers already, while of course the fact that he works from home is an enormous boon to the whole family. My maternity leave will be almost four months (through late January) so overall I'm relatively relaxed, and having fun with this new "parenting" thing. We won't talk about how much sleep we're (not) getting, though!

Right now, Evelyn is having an exciting moment - she's riding in a sling for the first time, coping with a bout of hiccups, and has discovered her thumb for the second time and is avidly sucking away! Talk about milestones! Now if only she didn't poke herself in the eye while thumbsucking...that will come, I'm sure...and ah, the hiccups have eased....

** Warning: the remainder of this posting is fairly explicit, quite lengthy, and probably will interest only close family and women friends! **

I wanted to record the story of my labor here, which several people have inquired about, and which is surely one of the most intense and unique experiences of my life. The short version of the story is that active labor took a very long time to get established and required medical intervention. It's a good thing that I knew going in that there is no such thing as a typical labor, and that I was open-minded about the use of medical pain prevention. In sum, I spent about 16 hours in pre-labor, 9 hours in early labor, 6 hours in active labor, and 90 minutes pushing.

For those who haven't been geeking out on pregnancy lately, labor comprises several phases: pre-labor (in which uterine contractions occur sporadically and are relatively mild -- this phase can actually last for days); the early phase (in which contractions occur at a regular frequency from about 20 minutes, progressing to about 5 minutes apart, during which the cervix dilates to about 3 cm); the active phase (in which contractions grow ever more intense up to a frequency of one to two minutes apart, during which the cervix dilates to about 7 cm); the transition phase (in which powerful contractions pile on top of contractions and the cervix fully dilates to 10 cm); and the pushing phase (where the baby passes down the birth canal and is delivered). There is also a final phase where the placenta is expelled.

The first sign of my labor was the show around noon on Thursday 10/5. I was excited and anticipatory, although trying to be patient. Around 4 pm, contractions started occurring about 20 minutes apart. By 7 pm, they were about 12 minutes apart, and I was using some breathing techniques to manage the feelings they induced. Mike was excited and we were filled with happy thoughts of imminent labor. Tori Amos's "Little Earthquakes" seemed like appropriate listening music. Then at 9:30 pm, my water broke. Only about 10-15% of labors actually begin with the bag of waters breaking; it's part of the protective package wrapping the baby in the womb, and generally the baby must get delivered within 24 hours due to the risks of infection that can result from its loss. I promptly got on the phone to my Ob/Gyn, Dr. Marni Sue Kwiecien. At my request, she agreed that I could spend the early phase of labor at home, either until 4 am or until my contractions were 5 minutes apart. Mike and I packed up some last items and tried to relax a bit. However, around midnight we were disappointed that the contractions slowed down, and by 4 am they were not any stronger or more regular in frequency.

We went in to Providence St. Vincent Hospital, which is just about a mile from our home, and during the assessment the contractions were actually about five minutes apart. I was admitted at 4:20 am and we were shown to Birth Room 21. We settled in, and while Mike caught a little shut-eye I walked the hallways to encourage labor to speed up. Each contraction would stop me in my tracks, but my breathing techniques were golden. However, by 9 am my cervix had not dilated past 1.5 cm, which had already been in effect as of my due date on Tuesday 10/3! It seemed that early labor hadn't even properly started -- I was still in pre-labor. This was extremely disappointing, and medical intervention for labor induction was indicated.

Dr. Kwiecien recommended beginning with cervical application of prostoglandin, which is a hormone that stimulates effacement and dilation. Unfortunately, this step meant that I now required constant fetal monitoring, and so I was bed-bound until the nurse located a fetal monitor equipped with long-range telemetry. The medicine was in place from about 11 am until 2:30 pm, during which time my contractions went down to between three & five minutes apart, requiring more intense concentration to apply my breathing techniques. We listened to Gnarls Barkley, Thievery Corporation, and acid jazz to keep the atmosphere light and familiar. The fetal monitoring meant that we were able to watch the contractions occur, as well as observe Evelyn's heartbeat, on that machine which goes Ping! We were both sure that I was now officially in early or even active labor.

However, after a promising start, the contractions slackened up somewhat, and by the end of this period my cervix remained only 1.5 cm dilated. Dr. Kwiecien now recommended administering an intravenous drip of oxytocin (name brand "Pitocin"), which is the hormone that stimulates uterine contractions. This was perhaps the lowest point of the whole labor, because I've read and heard nothing but scare stories about labor induction using oxytocin; it tends to stimulate extremely strong contractions very quickly and an epidural is generally recommended simultaneous with its application. However, my cervix had to reach at least 3 cm before an epidural would be authorized. Some tears were shed, as I feared what would come....

The pitocin drip started at 4 pm. Although chained to an IV pole and monitoring equipment, I was able to navigate around the room to a certain extent and use the birthing ball for variety. As before, Mike held my hand, massaged my back, and breathed with me. The contractions grew ever stronger, but after all, this was what laboring was about. When she left for the day around 5, Dr. Kwiecien told me that things were going well and that we could expect our daughter to have a 10/7 birthdate, since dilation usually proceeds at about 1 cm per hour. I kept my chin up, continued breathing, and looked forward to Evelyn's arrival.

Then, at 7 pm on Friday 10/6, a cervical exam revealed that over the past four hours I had only dilated to 2 cm. The Ob/Gyn who was now on call for the night, Dr. Shirley Fox, gave me two options: continue upping the dosage of oxytocin until labor was forcibly induced, or else stop the drug in favor of a re-application of prostoglandin overnight and the opportunity to rest until resuming infusions in the morning. Since the doctor recommended the slower route -- despite the fact that my waters had broken nearly 24 hours ago -- we followed this plan. Mike and I were exhausted and hungry; dinner was ordered and eaten. At 8 pm, the prostoglandin was applied, and I received a shot of pain medication to aid my attempt to sleep, after being assured by our new night nurse, Jeannette, that the progress of my labor would not be delayed by sleeping.

Bless pain medication! We put Air's "Moon Safari" on repeat, and I was able to relax somewhat into a more mellow place, while Mike laid down to try and get some shut-eye. Yet, rather than slackening off, my contractions picked up. So this was active labor! I focused my mind on the images we'd brought to use as focal points: a radiating Om symbol, and an image of a beach in Hawai'i where we'd spent blissful time. My breathing techniques were now a lifeline to move through each contraction. Mike roused himself, and kept in contact with me as a quiet source of comfort and strength. Jeannette, our nurse, was also a marvel of confidence and support. She kept a watchful eye on the monitor, which now showed the peaks of contractions higher than they'd ever been before, lasting a minute or so and occuring at a frequency of two to three minutes.

At 11 pm, a cervical exam revealed that I was 3 cm dilated. I promptly asked for the epidural to be administered, and Jeannette leapt into action to summon the anesthesiologist. I spent about fifteen minutes sitting up while it was administered. It's worth saying again -- bless pain medication!



Within several minutes of completing the epidural, Jeannette asked, "Did you feel that?" and when I responded "What?", Mike whistled in awe because the monitor had showed another Himalayan contraction. As the pain receded, I began to shake all over, which Jeannette said was a normal bodily reaction to the cessation of stress. My labor now progressed very rapidly. Over the next couple hours, the shaking ceased and I worked on relaxing and visualizing the physical reality of how my powerful and obedient uterus was contracting in order to open my cervix and deliver a baby. By 12:45 am Sunday morning, I was dilated at 5 cm; by 1:45 am, I was dilated to 9.5 cm and Jeannette told us to prepare for the pushing phase.

The challenge of the pushing phase when you've had an epidural is that you're not necessarily able to feel the exact place where the pushing should be directed. Here's where I must extol the virtues of Kegel exercises...if you're already in touch with this part of your body, you will succeed! I won't say it wasn't exhausting, pushing during each contraction for 90 minutes in a semi-sitting position. I'd asked for a mirror to be set up so that I could benefit from witnessing her progress down the birth canal. With Mike supporting me on one side and Jeannette on the other, it wasn't that long before we could see Evelyn's head appear with its shock of dark hair. Words can't describe the feelings of joy this sight brought to us both.

After this fast progress, we plateaued for awhile, but when Dr. Fox came in to handle the actual delivery I responded with renewed energy. Or perhaps it was switching the music from Scissor Sisters back to Air? At one point, Dr. Fox warned me that she might have to perform an episiotomy, but happily this was not necessary, although I did need one stitch. Once Evelyn's head fully crowned, a couple final pushes had her entering the world. She had the umbilical cord wrapped twice around her neck -- which I was sure would happen because she'd been so very active in the womb! -- but Dr. Fox didn't even blink and in a moment our baby girl was laid upon my chest.

I felt utterly awestruck to see and touch her little form, while Mike tells me that his prevailing emotion was one of relief. Various things kept happening down at the end of the bed that didn't interest us -- my only thought was for this new person we were finally privileged to meet. The vision of her bright almond eyes, pouty-pursed mouth and dimpled chin will forever warm my soul. Soon, she was suckling at my breast and the reality of our new family was starting to take form.



And now I will return to the fold, knowing how truly lucky Mike and I are to have and to hold this sweetheart we've named Evelyn Arcadia.

--Liz

3000 words

Hello, world!

Evelyn Arcadia B---- M------ was born at 3:36 a.m. on October 7th, 2006. She weighs 6 lbs 14 ounces and is 19 inches long. Mom is chowing down and trying to stay awake, baby is having a bath, and dad is freaking exhausted.

More details to follow.

-- Mike

Update #2

This picture shows Liz between contractions (you can tell by the smile). We're watching a videotape of Harry Potter to pass the time.

The contractions are coming steadily and getting stronger, thanks to infusions of oxytocin which began around 4 pm. She's in active labor now but the doctor has told us to expect the baby to have a 10/7 birthday so we've got a ways to go. Still, it's a relief to finally be on track.

This will be the last update until we have Big News to announce. Thanks to all of you for your love and best wishes!

-- Mike

p.s. Due to a quirk in the wi-fi support here at the hospital we don't have access to our email accounts. So if you've sent us e-mail, that's why we haven't responded.

Update #1

The contractions slackened around midnight so we checked in at 4 as planned. The hospital staff have been great although we did get passed around between a number of different nurses at first - I guess that's what happens when you show up shortly before a shift change.
Liz caught a brief nap before we left, and I took my turn once we got settled into our delivery room (as depicted here in this totally bogus recreation of the scene which we shot later).










We've got a nice room on the third floor with a panoramic view of the Tualatin Valley, which is obligingly shrouded in thick, gray fog this A.M. We've chowed some breakfast and we're now waiting for an exam to determine whether some form of labor augmentation is in order (our nurse is visible in the background, diligently operating the machine that goes Ping!)

The contractions have started back up, and seem to be progressing once again. But because Liz's water broke last night there's only so much time they're willing to let pass before they take steps to speed things up. Not to worry however, they've been monitoring the baby and she seems to be just fine.

That's all for now. Stay tuned folks...

-- Mike

Here we go...

Liz is in labor. Her contractions began this afternoon. We weren't sure at first if they were the real deal, but they've been progressing steadily. Then her water broke at 9:30 this evening. She's spoken with her doctor; we're under orders to report to the hospital at 4 am or when the contractions are 5 minutes apart, whichever comes first.

Everything is packed and ready to go. I'm going to load up the car as soon as I sign off here. We just had a snack and we've got the tunes cranked. Liz is bouncing on her birthing ball and breathing through the contractions like a trouper. She reports that they're getting "more intense."

I'm told they have wi-fi at the hospital so I'll try to post an update at some point if circumstances permit. No promises, obviously.

Woo!

-- Mike

p.s. I've temporarily disabled comment moderation. So if you want to shower us with encouraging words don't be shy... :)

Pregnant Pause

Yes, the phrase “pregnant pause” has gained a whole new shade of meaning for us here in the McBacon household. My due date of October 3 came and went with no sign of labor commencing. I knew that the singular due date was a medical fiction, since “full-term pregnancy” encompasses the whole 38- to 42-week period, yet I let myself fall into the psychological trap of expectation nonetheless.

It’s all good, though -- at least I’m on maternity leave now! Hallelujah for the break! Little baby-to-be makes herself felt regularly, stretching her arms & legs out and forming my belly into the most remarkable shapes. My health remains excellent, and I’m also sleeping better these past couple weeks. Keeping as active as possible is helping me stay sane, too. I recently replaced the faucet in the main bathroom, amusing Mike no end. Then on the 3rd, I started a household project to refinish the vanity in our master bath and paint the window trim, sure that this effort would trigger the big event! I wrapped up the project this morning, and right when I did, I actually exhibited some definite progress towards labor (the show...this coming on top of 1.5 cm dilation and the baby dropping). Still, it remains a waiting game at this point....

Oh, but forgive how self-involved I am! There’s very exciting news from my side of the family: my father underwent double transplant surgery on September 19th! He is doing fantastically well. He received his second transplanted liver (the first was donated in October 1991 and had been causing increasingly frequent problems over the past few years) as well as a new kidney. His recovery is going splendidly, and apparently he’s been charming all his nurses as well as impressing everyone with his rapid return to activity. I know that he is especially glad to no longer be subject to dialysis, which was a damper on his quality of life and overall mobility. Rather incredibly, this major event went down on the very same day that my brother got married, significantly upping the drama quotient for both affairs. Thankfully everything turned out happily, all around. I’m sorry that we couldn’t be there in person for either of these events, but of course all our love and best wishes go out to our Wheaton family members!

Meanwhile, Mike’s made some great progress on the business front, which is thrilling and gratifying. The learning curve involved in his career transition to web development and independent consulting has had a long ramp-up time, just due to the sheer breadth of new technologies & tools involved. He’s become proficient with Ruby, a dynamic programming language that’s rocking his world, as well as a wide range of other internet languages, especially Javascript and PHP. He recently picked up his second client, another web designer who needs Mike’s technical chops, and suddenly seems to have more work than he can handle! What’s that phrase again -- something about raining and pouring?

And what else? We have devoted some more time to gardening our rather ridiculously overplanted yard. We’d really felt almost paralyzed on this front for the past year, because the previous home owners had put so much effort into all the greenery but we were having trouble separating weed from plant. Finally, we decided to heck with it and started removing things with abandon – Mike spent almost three full days shifting nearly a TON of biomass from our property into a yard recycling container we ordered up specially. Mike finally feels that he can circumnavigate the yard without requiring a malaria shot, while I’m hopeful we won’t have to go through such major garden travails next year. We both felt invigorated by taking charge of the yard -- plus we also finally made it down to the creek that runs along the back of our property, falling even more deeply in love with our unique Portland home.

Overall, things are trucking along nicely in McBaconland, as the season turns to autumn and great new experiences lie just around the corner. Here’s a shot of my absurd belly as of this morning:



Best wishes to you & yours!

--Liz

Family happenings and Muchacha's Enchiladas

The biggest news from Liz's side of the family is that my brother Charles has proposed to Michele P., and without further ado they are tying the knot this month! Congratulations you two!! (Interested parties can see the happy couple in an earlier blog posting from their June visit to Portland.) Mike and I are delighted, and applaud their decision to get married on their own terms. A very small ceremony will be conducted later this month, and then they're throwing a larger wedding celebration next month. The only disappointing aspect from my perspective is that the timing of our due date precludes travel back to Chicago for the festivities. That trivial point aside, we welcome Michele into the family with open arms, and look forward to many years of good times and lots more competitive INTJ/P game-playing!

Also on the Liz family front, a couple weekends ago we were glad to play host to my cousin, Margery, along with my cousin, Doug, plus his mother Hannah and partner Carl. (Hannah and Margery's dad, Peter, were siblings with my grandfather, Charles, so technically Margery & Doug are first cousins once removed. Whew!) Margery was cruising around the West Coast visiting family members and friends, anticipating an imminent move to New Mexico for work. Margery is a rocket scientist, and was the person who launched the Hubble space telescope! Hannah recently moved to Portland, uprooting herself from Indiana after 46 years. Doug was the major draw, I think, having made Portland his home for a dozen years or so now. Hannah's daughter, Elaine, also lives nearby in Seattle.



Thanks to the ever-amazing Mike, we ate an absolutely delicious home-cooked dinner of Mexican dishes. Mike's graciously provided the recipe below, if'n you find yourself inspired! The rest of the evening was spent amusing each other with stories shared over tea and ice cream. We are glad to have the opportunity to spend time together with such congenial family.

--Liz

MUCHACHA'S ENCHILADAS
Serves 10

Fry 2 large chicken breasts in skillet. Allow them to cool then shred them.

Fry 1/2 lb ground pork in skillet.

Mince 1 large onion (use food processor if available). Saute with 2 heaping teaspoons chopped or minced garlic until onion is soft. Drain any excess liquid.

In a large bowl, combine chicken, pork, onions, most of 1 small can chopped green pepper, a small quantity of diced tomatoes, about 5 oz enchilada sauce (I like Rosarita brand, or you can make your own from scratch if you're feeling ambitious) and about 1/5 bag of mixed mexican cheese (a 50/50 blend of Jack/Cheddar works fine also). Mix thoroughly.

Grease 2 baking pans and pour in enough enchilada sauce to just cover the bottom.

Pour vegetable oil in skillet. Pour approx 20 oz enchilada sauce in another skillet. Heat oil until it is sizzling but not smoking

Repeat X 10:
1 - immerse large corn tortilla in sauce
2 - fry tortilla briefly in oil on both sides. Flip/remove when small bubbles appear in the tortilla. Hold above skillet until majority of oil has run off.
3 - lay tortilla flat in the baking pan (note that this gets a little trickier as the pan fills up - use the force.
4 - fill tortilla with 1/10 filling, a generous sprinkling of cheese
5 - roll so that seam is down

Note: It's best to station yourself near the sink so you can rinse your fingers after each enchilada. And you'll probably burn your fingers at least once so if you're prone to swearing send the kids outside before you start. Also, you'll definitely want a spatter-guard of some kind to cover the sizzling oil.

Pour enchilada sauce along length of each enchilada then top with the remainder of the cheese.

Bake at 350 for 35 minutes. Meanwhile prepare:

Side dish: mexican rice. Chop 1 medium onion. Saute with 1 heaping teaspoon chopped or minced garlic. Add a sprinkling of cumin - maybe 1/2 tsp. Add vegetable oil and 1.5 cups rice, increase heat. Allow rice to lightly brown, stirring frequently. Add a small amount of diced tomatoes and 3 cups water, bring to boil. Reduce heat to low, cover and simmer 20 minutes.

Side dish: refried beans. A can of Rosarita's low-fat heated in the microwave is just fine.

Side dish: Mexican salad. Finely chop iceberg lettuce. Season with vinegar (white is good) and salt, to taste.

Garnish enchilada and salad with shredded cilantro. Garnish everything with crumbled cotija (a Mexican cheese).

Serve with guacamole (1), sour cream, and 1 or more salsas. For instance: a mild salsa cruda, a medium exotic (like raspberry chipotle or cactus hooch) and a hot jalapeno or habanero. I don't have any particular favorites; it's nice to try different ones and keep things fresh.

And don't forget to have plenty of tortilla chips on hand. The tri-colored ones are especially festive. An inviting assortment of beverages never hurts either.

(1) Liz's Guac-A-Mole (pronounced "Guac" "a" "mole") is particularly delicious.

Mimi in Memoriam

We are deeply saddened to report that our beloved cat Mimi’s last day on earth was yesterday, September 2nd.

I adopted Mimi as a year-old cat from the SPCA in the summer of ‘96. I somehow wandered into the room where she was being kept – I thought I was there to adopt a kitten – and she tugged on my heartstrings immediately. She just looked at me through calm, intelligent green eyes while hunkered down inside her small cardboard litter box. When I held her, she purred and thoroughly ensnared me. Once rescued, she integrated herself into my life with perfect aplomb, and charmed everybody who met her.

Mimi was a gentle and loving cat, with a remarkable sense of joie de vivre that brought many smiles to our faces through the years. She was sharp as a tack, sometimes demanding and occasionally incorrigible, but always with the best of intentions. We joked that she seemed to suffer from a variety of ADD – Affection Deficit Disorder – based on how often she wanted to indulge in lap time. She also loved to spend time outdoors, lying in the sunlight or prowling slowly around the yard. Faced with a foreign interloper kitty or a robust raccoon, she proved herself a fighter – although thankfully she never had a true showdown with the raccoon!

Mimi’s health was troubled for the past couple years. While we were living in Sherman Oaks, she was diagnosed with lymphosarcoma, a chronic cancer of the intestine. Unable to say goodbye without doing something, we pursued chemotherapy treatment which happily soon had her back to sporting form. Since moving to Portland, she had improved even more; just three weeks ago, the veterinary oncologist gave her a glowing bill of health. However, it appears now that another cancer (of the spleen or liver) grabbed hold over the past couple days and very swiftly took her down. We are glad that she didn’t suffer long, and that we were able to care for her to the very end. She was put to sleep in the early hours of Saturday morning.

It hasn’t been a good year for cats in the McBacon family. Mike lost his boon companion China in December. She was born on his bed, and proceeded to keep him devoted company for the next fifteen years. She was a truly fearless champion among felines. And the cat with whom I grew up (from 7th grade, anyways), M.T., also passed away about a year ago. She always kept my dad company during naps, and he misses her intensely still.

I had ten great years with Mimi, for which I am very thankful. I remember her in so many places around our home, which feels very empty right now. We are both bereft and having trouble accepting that she’s gone. Yet, death is ever-present in the midst of life. We have to face this loss, shake off the mortal coil of fear, and move forward with infinite hope. Mimi will live on forever in our hearts and minds.

--Liz